Mom Jeans: Moments of Pause VIII

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Welcome to Moments of Pause, a monthly catalogue of whatever’s been needling you: a list of all the things so odd/pertinent/funny/serious/catchy/confusing that you just had to dip from your Mother’s Day brunch and blast J.Lo’s newest single “I Ain’t Your Mama”! For our 8th edition of the year we beat our drums for our mums.

1. Den Mother – Loralee Sepsey

Mom, I’m sorry I pooped on you when I was born. I hope I made it up to you by sending you weird pins on Pinterest, and by that one time we went to Disneyland without the kids and saw Captain America, and by all the times people thought you were my sister. By all the times we stayed up late watching Golden Girls or X Files, and by all the Harry Potter midnight releases and Stephen King book discussions, and by the raspberry tiramisu I tried to make you every Mother’s Day.

I hope that by now you’ve realized that it was just me marking my territory, cause you’re my mom and I don’t want anyone else.

2. Here’s Mommy! – Sophia Laurenzi

Princess Steph with her green tea reveals hidden talents and her love of The Shining. Moms are so cute and so awesome in the most unexpected ways.

 

 

3. Mother Tongue – Nikki Tran

My mom will probably not read this. Not because she’s soulless and doesn’t care about my cyber ramblings, but because I only know how to write in English, a language that’s rough in her mouth and has words like “synecdoche” and “Yeats” (which does not rhyme with “Keats” as I learned one embarrassing day in English 92). And still, I use all my minutes up talking to my mom about my day, my dining hall meals, my dreams, my disappointments–albeit pausing ever so often to ask, “How do you say this in Vietnamese?” My mom is my translator, my meaning maker, and I’m her’s.

Even though there were hiccups along the way (e.g. pesky middle school me on my Motorola, exclusively responding to my mother in clipped English so that my friends wouldn’t hear me speak Viet and think I was a freak) and there still continue to be some things that are lost in translation (e.g. my mom sends me texts in Viet, which I can’t read, so I have to use Google translate), but I wouldn’t trade my mother-daughter word tango for something smoother and effortless. She has other ways of expressing her love even if she doesn’t know what to say: attending every single one of my high school theatre performances despite not really understanding what was going on; sending me purple heart emojis on the reg; shipping me dried mango. My mother understands me, loves me, and continues to teach me how to love in the deepest of ways: when words aren’t needed.

4. Don’t Follow Me, Mother Goose! – Katie Nesser

My mother is a social media empire. Mary Ellen Nesser will probably see this article first on Twitter (throw us an RT mom!), then on Facebook (which she claims to have moved on from, but I see her on chat all the time). If StAR had an Instagram, I’m sure she would double-tap. I’m appreciative for her support, but there is one social media network that truly is a bridge too far: yes, my mom has friend requested me on Snapchat. And she was surprised when I didn’t accept her! I love my mother too much to subject her to my snaps, which are usually just videos of me zooming in on my friends’ faces and laughing in the background. I don’t want that to be the way Mary Ellen sees me. She deserves better.

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